Childhood shapes your life. I think everyone can agree with that statement. How, in what form, and to what extent it does so, however, is not clear to anyone.
An adult young man of normal weight and proportions tells us that he has a “crazy” problem. When he is in a bad mood, he cannot distinguish between being hungry or having an interpersonal problem, such as being annoyed with someone. He has noticed that when he eats something, the bad mood can suddenly disappear. By chance, he had told his mother about it, and she remembered that when he was a baby, she had not treated him according to all his needs. A midwife had advised her thirty years ago that a nursing child should only be fed every four hours. Therefore, if her son was hungry after only three hours, the mother did not feed him, but carried him around and tried to keep him happy during the hour until feeding time.
A bad mood is an unpleasant feeling, and the same feeling can have different causes. Feelings are emotional memories. This is probably where the inability to distinguish the causes of a bad mood comes from (such as the ability to differentiate between hunger and personal problems).
Since the young man now has an explanation for his problem, he always has something to eat in his pocket and does his bad mood test. If he feels better after the snack, it was hunger; otherwise, he has to turn his attention to face other problem solutions.
If the mother had trusted her feelings rather than following the midwife’s recommendations and acted accordingly, she would have breastfed her baby immediately. She could have chosen not to put her baby off.
See how far into adulthood a mother’s reaction can reach? She had responded to the expression of discomfort, but she did not react properly to the cause (hunger) by providing food. Instead, she responded by comforting, carrying, and calming her baby. Even as an adult, the son, although now aware of the reasons, is not able to distinguish between the two possible causes. He has found a way to deal with this circumstance in a relaxed way. With trial and error, in his case, he can determine the difference.
Experts attach special importance to childhood because a life plan is created there in the subconscious.
Renowned pediatrician and family therapist, Childhood Expert Maria Steuer has advised more than 20,000 parents on childhood behavioral issues. Now, in her new book and programs, Maria walks you through the surprising revelation that your OWN childhood holds the key to shifting behavior in your own children.